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May 27, 2010


I got this mail today and decided to publish it in the blog  in order to get more attention to this problem of abuse in general and to the  women abuse in the families.
stop abuse
Subject: Ghalya is looking for a male mode/female model in Dubai for Ghalya website
Dear members,
Ghalya is looking for a new model for the Ghalya website as we are currently working on updating the website, we need a male and female model, kindly note this is a voluntary position but lunch or dinner should be covered.
If you are living in UAE please contact me directly at: because we would like to get a model as soon as possible.
Ghalya Founder
City of Hope - organization in Dubai that provides shelter and hope to  all women who  met with domestic abuse . The organization wanted  to raise awareness and encourage women to speak up. One of the  way  to reach woman attention was  distributing a different kind of beauty kit in the shopping malls, especially at cosmetics/beauty products stores or shops that cater exclusively to women..
ad against domestic abuse  
The cover of the ‘City of Hope’ beauty kits are plain black. Inside, covering twelve eye-shadow and two blush covers are sixteen “if” messages, i.e.; “If dragged across the floor”, “If punched in the face”, “If burnt with an iron.” On the brush applicator is the answer for what to do in those situations, “Don’t cover up injustice. Speak. 050 6516511 [phone number]. City of Hope” see full article
For those who think that Islam gives no right to women i answer:
1. I am Muslima thanks to God and declare that Quran said  that women must  be treated the  most  tender  the most beautiful  the most respected way by men and even in case she has done something bad her husband may not hurt her nor physically neither emotionally.  Duties of husband to  wife are more strict  than ones of wife to husband
2. As married woman i declare that my muslim  husband cover all my needs without any reminding from my side.  I have  full choice for my money/ time whether  to spend it for my education or self-improvement,or hobbies  or children or visiting family or sleeping till lunch time. Woman in muslim family more protected than man. We usually have more quiet and safe life than even our husbands who fighting the world to provide us with  all we need.  If i am weak or sick or just don’t  like or don’t have mood  to  cook/clean house /wash clothes/even feed baby with milk so nobody has right to make me doing such things( as it is not my duty as wife/woman according to shariah) unless  i  do it by my own wish .
3. In case of divorce that by the way allowed in Islam but considered as the worst act among permissibility . all Woman needs  have to be covered for about 4 months after divorce  and in case she discover that she is pregnant  so  this obligatory(food,house,clothes,money provision) extends for the whole term until she delivers. And then needs of her child have to be fully covered until he/she reaches come of age.
All that above is mercy , all that below  are sins. Now think who dare to abuse  any woman deserves what? and God exists!
If you agree plz comment! Your word is important to give the correct image about Woman in Islam and prevent abuse of our belief.


  1. Salaam alaikum Khalija

    I strongly agree with you, and hold this matter in the same context as the ban on hijab in countries such as France. I think its ignorant yet also typical for the western minded to assume that because we have to cover up that we are not free or because we are muslim woman that's natural for us to be beaten up.

    Unfortunately this misconception will never go away , in my opinion, for two reasons.
    The first relates to a lack of knowledge of Islam and the second is that its the only way to get reaction out of "the quieter gender" in Islam.

    One further one that one can ponder on, is media coverage stemming from the publicity of terrorism which has prompted people to become more curious about Muslims - in this context, i refer to a documentary that aired on cable shortly after the 911 attacks and the afghanistan chronicles, where the docummentary focused on the plight of muslim woman in Saudia Arabia, the wife beating (based on a story from a saudi woman herself) and the general state of woman in the city. While it is not for us to judge, it is also safe to say, that wife beating is not restricted to a muslim country and happens equally around the world, if not more. I think its just a media attachment to muslim woman that has got as tagged as such and also perhaps far more woman (muslim) are opening up that others about their problems - in fact have a look at this excerpt

    "...Domestic violence during the last 20 years has been acknowledged as being a rapidly growing health concern in America's communities, and as a result, communities around the country are working to develop strategies to stop the violence and provide more protective mechanisms for women and children who are battered (Hart, 1995).

    One report estimates that more than 2.5 million females experience some form of violence each year. Further, almost 2 out of 3 females in this population have been attacked by a family member or a person with which they are acquainted... " [ the full article can be found here]

    In all our efforts, we should remember the Prophet Muhammad
    (صلى الله عليه وسلم) words:

    (1) Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah 's Apostle said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."
    [Sahih bukhari]

    Elegance in reply:
    Narrated Aisha:

    The Jews used to greet the Prophet by saying, "As-Samu 'Alaika (i.e., death be upon you), so I understood what they said, and I said to them, "As-Samu 'alaikum wal-la'na (i.e. Death and Allah's Curse be upon you)." The Prophet said, "Be gentle and calm, O 'Aisha, as Allah likes gentleness in all affairs." I said, "O Allah's Prophet! Didn't you hear what they said?" He said, "Didn't you hear me answering them back by saying, 'Alaikum (i.e., the same be upon you)?"

    [Sahih bukhari]

  2. Blue Pearl,barak Allahu fich for your support and comment!tank you for opening new sides of abuse problem in the world towards muslims. i agree with ur point of veiw 100%and join to those proves you brought from hadith. we have to speak up! we have to unite.

  3. Afwan habibti: ) PS: I love your blog - it rocks:)

  4. Salaam Khaleejia!

    I think that a lot times people assume that Muslim women are worse off. I did a presentation at my all girls school and according to the statistics presented in our research, 1 in every 4 women in America will suffer domestic violence. This really shocked a lot of the girls in my class because everyone is accustomed to this idea that a less conservative society will always be better for women. I believe that there is abuse everywhere, but I do genuinely think that Islam provides the best safeguard for women. I think that people's perceptions are skewed by the fact that, what we as Muslimahs see as a safeguard (observing Hijab, listening to our husbands, etc), critics would try to portray as a restriction. Our rights, much like our duties, as Muslim women are guaranteed in our religion and equally in our state laws. In essence, we are completely protected. Unfortunately, there are always going to be those who completely ignore both the law and their faith. For them I pray that one day they will be in better judgment and realize that the effects of their actions can leave permanent marks on the people around them.

    Also, I have to thank you personally and all the other lovely girls who are giving a voice to young women by blogging. Its really fantastic to have this sisterhood of girls who take out time from their day to make a difference, answer questions, and show everyone that we are much more similar than widely thought! =) Keep up the good work!

  5. Amused me how much you all have to say!
    Dear M de c: thank you for sharing with us ur opinion and experience . thank you for putting your eye on this post and taking part in,inshaAllah you ll be rewarded with hasanat for this.) i also thank u for good supportive words abt all girls who are blogging and this make a big sense for us. as when i started blogging i coud never imaging that it would brink such use not only to me but for the people i barely know even their names:)
    i'd like add more to that i have already said in the post,cos' i definatly agree with all you wrote over here!
    unfortunately this problem exists in arab families as well but not so often and for sure domestic abuse never happens in the families where people are true Muslims who keep on obeying God's commands like daily praying, visiting Mosques and following all general rules of Islam sincerely. I would say such people are a sample of the best happy relations as humans just can have despite of the normal daily difficulties,stress that anyway happens and mistakes that everyone do. But generally people unfamiliar to Islam have the most terrible ideas about Muslim women but one of British journalist who as i remember was working in iraq and finally she decided to convert to Islam said that if women just get know how beautiful treatment and caring is prescribed on them they would just accept Islam as the only true religion for that exact reason.
    we are conservative and this help us to keep our pride. In America, women's pride broken much more times just as one of the reason-because there is none who could have duty of responsibility for them except themselves. like father has to be responsible for his daughter and husband for his wife but they do not have such habit nowadays,they said -man&woman are equal. Maybe there is local laws but people are still the same- man like to feel their power over woman and who can stop him? Thats why Muslims are the happiest people because they do not act in fear of punishment here but in fear of punishment in the Day of Judgment. Muslim know that every word and every action are recorded and will be asked.

  6. Assalam Alaikum,
    Used to believe in these organizations that help women especially the ones who have been abused by their relatives. Today, I have lost faith in them. I am a case of husband/wife abuse in one of the Khaleeji countries.
    My life was fine until the day i married a khaleeji man. To make long story short, have been abused mentally, verbally and physically.
    Looked for help in the government owned organizations but all they could do was hand me papers to strive for myself. Being an expatriate with a 1yr old baby with me was difficult with no support from either party. Alhamdullilah, now am back in my own native country with my baby after having to go through much difficulty and tolerance. And am proud to say that am much better person as a single mum who supports both herself and her baby than to be trap in an abusive relationship.
    My advise - If these organizations were to help the abused women than PLEASE help them to the end and if possible show them that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
    May Allah give strength & courage to all the abused women in the world.


will appreciate your kind notes :)